It’s been two years since my wife Rosemary passed away to be with our Lord. Rosemary had a beautiful and powerful faith and because of that I was inspired. Every morning she would spend the very first hour of the day in her reading chair with her Bible. Immediately after she was stricken with West Nile Virus she became very, very sick and unable to move or speak. Myself along with many, many others prayed often and hard for her recovery. She struggled so hard but God said no. Following her passing I was completely lost and spiritually laboring.
My grief journey was filled with depression, ups and downs, mostly downs. I was slowly recovering and my faith was really not moving forward. I struggled with this seemingly every waken moment.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Once again people were praying, this time for me. My cancer was found very early and was completely removed. Eventually those prayers for me were answered and God said yes. I was however still struggling as it was just so very difficult to understand why me and not Rosemary. I did not turn to Scripture for answers.
One day early this past summer I was feeling particularly lonely and wandered into Rosemary’s reading space and behind her chair I found one of her Bibles that had fallen from our bookcase. Interestingly it was lying open to a page where she had highlighted and underlined some of her favorite passages. I sat down in her chair and began to leaf through the pages and saw that she underlined and highlighted many scriptures that obviously were her favorites.
After reading through her Bible I had a strong feeling of Rosemary encouraging me to read those Scriptures that meant so much to her. I truly feel that God through Rosemary was pulling me to a closer relationship with Him. ~Bill Holland
My journey with grief will never completely end, but I am now beginning to experience the healing presence of God………through Rosemary’s Bible.